Jem's Dead
by abombinallsnowman
Summary: After Jem's death, it's hard for some people to move on; and for others, it's harder.


I stand on the steps outside the doorway, watching as the car leaves.

A single tear goes down my cheek as my parabatai rune burns over my heart.

Tessa stands next to me, a few feet away. I glance over at her and see her kerchief over her nose, tears streaming down her face in a silent sob.

I focus my attention on the car that's long gone. I close my eyes and wipe the escaped tear. I slowly turn around and head inside.

After I'm inside, I head straight down the corridor to my room. I take the suitcase from under my bed. The suitcase that's been ready for a month, now.

I look around my room for any books I've missed. There is one lonely book sitting on the ground, collecting dust. I walk over and see it's A Tale of Two Cities. It takes me back to my conversation I had with Tessa.

I kick it away.

I go back to my suitcase and open it up, seeing if I have everything. After I make sure, I blow out the candle, pick up my bag, and leave my room, the last time I'll ever be in it.

I walk back to the front door, but don't open it, knowing Tessa is still out there. I put my suitcase down on the ground, next to the door. I turn around and head for the weapon's room.

I find Gideon there, talking to Sophie. I can't hear their whispered conversation, but I walk over to them.

I turn toward Gideon and hold out my hand, "This is goodbye. I haven't known you much, but I have nothing here."

Gideon takes my hand and gives it a shake.

I turn toward Sophie, who gives me a tight smile with glassy eyes. I give her a nod, "Goodbye, Sophie. Thank you for putting up with me for these years." I turn and head out the door.

I walk down the corridor with my head down. I don't exactly know where I'm heading until I stand a few feet away from the study.

I take a deep breath and push open. As I walk inside, everybody looks at me. Sophia, Charlotte, and Henry.

I walk toward them and stand in front of them. "This is goodbye. I won't be coming back, so I'll never see you again."

Charlotte starts crying and Henry puts an arm on her shoulders and whispers to her.

"I'm sorry, Charlotte. I know you're the one who's been like a mother to me, and that's greatly appreciated. But I have nothing left for me here."

She starts wiping her eyes. She looks at me, her mouth open, about to say something, but she just nods an understanding.

Henry looks up at me with tearful eyes. "You annoyed the bloody hell out of everyone, but we still loved you like family. Have a good life, Will."

I hear Charlotte croak out a low, "Goodbye."

I look at Sophia and see she has a tear streaming down her cheek. She brushes it away, seeing as I'm looking at her. I give her a nod and head out the room, getting glassy eyed myself.

I slowly walk around the institute , knowing it'll be the last time I'll ever get the chance.

I stop in front of the library, knowing Tessa will be in there.

I take a deep breath, knowing this will be the hardest goodbye yet.

I open the door slowly and see a figure in the armchair, a book in front of her face.

I walk over to her. "Tessa. . ." I start. She puts the book in her lap and looks in my tearful eyes. She sees right through me; like she sees all my secrets; knows why I'm here.

She stands up, putting the book in her place after marking the page.

I walk over to her and contemplate on whether to put my hand on her shoulder or not. I choose not to.

"This. . .is a goodbye. Forever. I have nothing here, the only reason I would stay here is to protect you, but I know you can do that yourself, or another man." Unlike me, I think, I am just a boy.

She doesn't fight her sobs anymore. She comes within inches of me and leans her whole body on me. I gasp. I don't know what to do. I put an arm on her back and lightly stroke her hair.

Before, this would be the best dream I could ever hope to happen; now. . .I don't know what I think now. I try to be distant, not thinking of how warm her body is against mine, or how sweet she smells, or her beauty. They are things that never belonged to me. And never will.

Tears slide down and fall into her hair. I try to slowly back up, so it will be more easy saying goodbye; but Tessa claws into my arms, not letting go.

"Don't. . ." I hear her beg.

"I have to, Tessa." I grab a hold of her arms and detach her from me, forever.

"No. . ." She whispers, her eyes begging too."

I caress her cheek. I don't think of what I'm doing as I lean down and kiss her with a passion I didn't know I had in me.

Tessa resists at first, then melts into me. I put my hands on her waist and pull her to me. I hear her moan, and that's my indication.

I pull away as quickly as possible and regain my posture. Tessa looks stunned, but then she realizes what she let me do and starts crying again.

I was just about to walk over to her and comfort her, but I remember what I came here to do. "Goodbye, Tess."

And with that, I turned toward the door and rushed out, still hearing her sobs all the way down the corridor.

I go to Cecily's room and knock on the door, "Time to go!" I hear rustling and then the door opens.

"Ready." She says, cheerily.

I grab one of her two bags and we head for the front door.

When we're outside and the carriage is packed, I let Cecily go in first so I can talk to the carriage driver.

Once we're on the road, it's quiet, neither of us saying anything; too much on our minds.

After a while, we stop. "This isn't our stop." Cecily says.

"I'll only be a minute."

I head out before she can say anything else.

I open the door, been here too often to need to knock. I find him sitting in an armchair, drinking tea. He sees me. "Hello, Will. What do you need this time?"

"I've come to say goodbye, Magnus. Thank you for helping me. I could never repay you enough."

He looks a little shocked, then he says, "Goodbye, Will. Have a wonderful life."

And with that, I turn to leave. With my sister, we ride and ride, not knowing what will become of our lives.

The End


End file.
